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We're kids. What do kids like to do? Play football. Where do kids
like to play football? In the street. What do kids who like to
play football in the street hate most? Idiots who think they're
cool driving up and down the road at ludicrous speeds.
mm So yesterday, in order to stop
speeders, we set out on a mission.
OK,
that was the ethical part over; now for the truth - we like to
have a laugh.
mm So yesterday, in order to have
a laugh, we set out on a mission.
Armed
with a hairdryer and wearing a yellow reflective strap and police
helmet from the Early Learning Centre, my brother Alex looked
convincingly like a policeman with a speed gun. He positioned
himself behind two conveniently placed cones, ironically marking
the spot where a car completely took a lamppost out of the ground
just the other day.
It was time to have our fun: being a busy road, it didn't take
long for the first car to drive past. A friend and I walked along
the pavement like ordinary, bored kids while Alex stood poised
with the
hairdryer. Aware of his presence, cars slowed down as they approached
him. Continuing past, the majority caught a glimpse of his 12-year-old
face. All were happy: some waved, most smiled,
thumbs-up were awarded and one man even saluted.
Not
to say it got boring after a while - on the contrary, as every
driver's expression was unpredictably unique - but after 5 minutes
or so we decided to use our next toy. Bring on... the camera flash!
Despite its strobe-like effect, we are sensible. To avoid blinding
the drivers and merely to worry them into expecting a nice little
fine through their letterboxes, we used the flash on just a few
cars and only once they had past us. The effects were wonderful,
their faces pictures.
We
were all in hysterics by now, but even with us two kids suspiciously
throwing ourselves around in fits of laughter, constantly looking
over towards the "policeman", drivers still slowed down
considerably on the approach to and passing of Alex.
The cars kept coming, and the red break lights kept illuminating.
Green cars, blue cars, black cars... they all slowed down. Then
came a red car. It was our mum! By this point Alex was laughing
too, and myself and my friend had taken to rolling on the floor
in hysterics. The normal thing happened: Mum approached, slowed
down, took a glimpse as she drove past. But wait! She
looked back again! It had struck her; it was not a policeman with
a speed gun, but her son with a helmet from the ELC and a hairdryer;
HER hairdryer! Oh her face! We were literally pissing ourselves
with laughter by this point; excuse the French. Our fun was to
be spoilt though: we spotted the red car coming past again, and
to our despair mum shouted out of the window:
"Stop that now, it's illegal!" We obeyed, and walked
home. It was all smiles back home though; our grandparents were
in fits of giggles, and my mum admitted she truly believed it
was a policeman. After all, what are they going to do; take a
12-year-old to court for impersonating a policeman with a plastic
helmet from a toyshop and a hairdryer? Ha!
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